Valentine's Day

Love exists in every darkness and every stray light.

To everyone that has a special someone in their life, whether it's a husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, it doesn't matter. We all have a special someone. You can be shy and that special someone will never know how you feel. It's strange. The ones we fall for. How our hearts choose them. We have an ideal person in mind of who we want to be with but our heart finds us the right one. Our other have. The Belle to the Beast. Aladdin to Jasmine. Ariel to Eric. All that jazz. Romantic movies portray the love we imagine ourselves to have. I can say, it exists. I witnessed a couple kissing with such love I've never seen in life. Just movies. Jealous as I am of it, I know that I'll have my other half before I know it.

It may start out as talking to your crush. Slowly forming into something more. Wondering what they're doing. How their day was. If they're thinking of you like you're thinking of them. Love has no bounds and distance is no match for the power of it. Your heart will guide you. Don't be shy to tell that person how you feel. Speak up and let them hear your voice. Let them know how you feel. They could secretly feel the same. It doesn't have to be Valentine's day. Could be any day that you tell them what you feel. If you can't say it, write a love letter to them. Maybe that might work. Take the risk. You will never know how that person feels until you speak up and take that chance.

I've been afraid of Love for so long, I can't even hear my heart tell me what it wants anymore. I don't know what's in my head or what's in my heart. It feels broken. I have suitors that I fancy, but I don't know which route to take. Do I go to the one I've known for awhile? One I fell for after my heart broke? The one that knows my body and I fell in love with? The one that makes me feel like an equal and trolls me but still knows how to be serious? I don't know where to go. I can't even get my head straight. I am torn and as my sister would say, "You're a trash hoe." Meaning, I'm in "love" with more than one guy. You couldn't possibly understand how I feel or what goes through my head every day. My first love was scary. I didn't know how to love. Nor did I know what it felt like to be treated like a woman. I was scared. Shy. I wanted nothing more than to be confident. I couldn't do it. Now? I'm more comfortable in my skin. He helped me to love myself and be a woman. One other person helped. He's been there and talked me out of my stress a few times and jokes about me being his baby mama. He makes me smile and reminds me that no matter how old I get, I can still have fun. He jokes about my ass and about going on a date. I can tell you one thing, he is good to me and makes me feel fabulous. I would not be sitting here today if he did not exist in my life. I'm grateful for him. No matter how long it's been since I've seen him, he will always be a close friend and someone I can call when I need someone. I have the utmost respect for him and admire his heart. He taught me to be me and say fuck everyone and their opinions because they don't matter. Just you and this Fortress of Solitude. Take my advice and don't let doubt stop you. Don't let that negative shit get in the way of what your heart says. Your heart is what matters. Ignore all those that say you don't know what love is. They're not you and they never will be.

Take a deep breath and take that first step. It will be alright and worth it.

Where there is love, life begins.

Opportunities

Opportunities

 

 

 

Everyone has a chance to do something great. But how do we get there? Hard work. But how to we do that? Persistence. You want that job but you need experience. How do we get experience if we can't get a job? If nobody will give us a chance, how can we prove we're worth the time? I'll tell you. Put in an application. Go straight to that location, ask for a manager. Don't settle for nothing less. Tell that manager you are worth the time and effort. How bad do you want a job? Tell them your schedule is open. Sometimes you have to tell them, "I'm not taking no for an answer. I may not  be as experienced but I am willing to learn and show you what I can do." It just may work. I'm not an employer. I have six months of work history that is worth putting on an application and resume. Even a place is not hiring, do it anyway. Demand a manager and nobody else. Don't take that crap they sell you. "I'll give you a call in a few days to let you know." Give them a day then call after that. Blow up their phone. Or walk in there and ask to speak with that manager. If you have to sit and wait, do it. You tell them you're not leaving until you speak to them. Tell them that you are worth their time. You're worth their time. If I wasn't unemployed and didn't know the stress of it, I wouldn't be writing this, now would I? No. Because I wouldn't know what it's like. This shit is coming from my heart and experience. I am trying to get back on my feet and nobody is going to hire because I don't have enough experience on this or that. Give me your time and I'll show you that I'm good enough to work for you. We all are worth their time. If they can't see it, they don't know what they are missing. We know what they are missing out on. Do they? No. They won't give us a shot. Don't let nobody tell you that you are not worth the time, because we are. We all are. Whoever says you're not, is a heartless bitch. They don't know you. You know you. You'll find that job. Promise. Just keep on being stubborn and bugging those businesses. One will give you that shot you've been hoping for. I'm trying to get my shot. We'll get there. Keep you're head up and that smile on.