Risk It All

Every opportunity has a shelf life. Nothing lasts forever without risks. Take a chance. Grab the bull by the horns and push back. Don't stand your ground. You won't get anywhere standing around. When an opportunity comes around, think about it before saying yes. Be sure it's what you want. What you were looking for. If it is, then take a chance. Take that risk. Never know when something like that will fall in your lap. Never say never but never give up. Face your fears. Stand tall and let go. Don't fall. Fly. Spread your arms wide and sore. It's never too late. When you're buried and gone, then it's too late. If your heart still beats and you're still breathing, there's still time. Step out of the shadows and show yourself. Shine brighter than the stars and light up your world. Nothing can cast it's shadow upon you.

Fancy A Chat?

Yesterday morning I went to the DPS but found my driver's test wasn't until that afternoon since I was a walk in. So my friend and I decided to get breakfast. We talked and I told her about my plan. She supports me and we tried to go over to the military store because she said they sold some things I could look at and possibly purchase. Sadly, they were closed. We made our way to Firewheel and come to realized that the stores were closed. Except for Barnes and Noble. Got a few things there and then went over to another store. Wouldn't open for another twenty minutes. We sat on the bench and talked for the time being before we were able to go in the store. Looked around and then started talking to the woman that was working there. She gave me some good advice and pointers and then we went over to Hot Topic.

There is an employee there. She was beautiful. Her hair was up and a scarf wrapped on her head. Glasses and a very pretty dress. Her eyes were very pretty and a stunning voice. Her smile was what did it. She was polite and her excitement of what I told her I was looking for couldn't keep me from smiling. She was overall just amazingly stunning! I couldn't help but want to talk to her more. Gave her one of the cards I had that had my blog information in it. I am hoping she doesn't taken offense to anything I've written on here. She's truly captured my attention. Been checking my apps for any notifications if she's sent a message. School girl crush mode has been activated. Couldn't help it. Hard not to crush on her.

After I left there, I went back to DPS to take my test. In the end I failed it. Again. So we headed back home. She dropped me off then I went to the vet with my cat, Sadie. Poor sweet girl was sick again. After that, we went over to another vet to pick up some meds for my dog, Bear. Told mom about Hot Topic's having a 50% of sale. We headed right over. And, yes, I brought the cat into the store. She saw me and I waved and showed her my little Princess. Told me about her cat and told her about Miss Sadie. She's precious as can be and is very lovable. I would've pulled her out of the carrier and let her hold Sadie but being in the store, don't think many people would like cat hair everywhere. She was relatively busy but she did call to another store for me to get the dress I wanted. She told me about Torrid and that I should definitely go there when I had a chance. I would love to go and definitely going to try to go when I get my license. When it came time to check out, I tried to flirt a little but mother was standing next to me so I couldn't do it. Was going to ask if she was bi....but I chickened out. Sadly, I wish I had. I'm not a creeper, but I do have a bit of a crush on her. She was very polite and I enjoyed talking to her when I could. Hoping that I hear from her and that she does see this. Think I'd be embarrassed if I had asked her out. Face all red and stuttering and feeling like a dolt. 

Something More

Do you ever wonder if you actually exist to that one person you fancy or just there when they want something from you? What does it mean when your "super friends with benefits" but they know you want to be their significant other? Yet they don't want to destroy the friendship you have. Can't really be friends after that. You've crossed the point of no return after sleeping with each other. If you're that heartless, by all means, stop before you hurt the other person. If you are not solely interested in that person beyond sex, move along. After some time, feelings will develop. Granted you could have had feelings for them since you were a preteen but never said anything until after all this went down.  Truth is, if the bridge gets burned then it gets burned. Not like it's going to matter due to the continuos flings, only gonna hurt when they get a significant other. If they tell you that they're screwed up and can't handle being in a relationship right now, one of two things are happening. One, they are being honest. Or two, they're lying to you. To be quite frank, there is no guarantee for either one. If you're there for that person before they had money and you're still around and you genuinely care for that person, then there shouldn't be a reason not to try. Really shouldn't. No matter what is going on. If you're "super best friends with benefits" then you're practically dating. That's what I think. Honesty, if I am with you from the begining when you had no money, have your back when nobody else does, and I'm still here after you chose someone else over me, I can promise you that I'll stick around awhile longer.  There is only so much that one can take. Just keep your head up and show that person you're still there for them. Never know what will happen.

Miss Adler

As you know, Irene Adler stole Sherlock Holmes' heart. In the show and the movie. In the second season of Sherlock, Miss Adler was supposedly murdered but Holmes prevented her murder and saved her life. We are unaware of her whereabouts and do not know if they are still communicating. In the second Sherlock Holmes movie, A Game of Shadows, Miss Adler was murdered through her tea. A rare form of bronchitis. She succumbed to it in seconds. Now, we were unaware of Sherlock being with Irene the the TV show until the end where he saved her life. Now. The question is, did she really die? Or was Sherlock there to save here? We know that in the series and the movie, Sherlock faked his death. My eyes have yet to see the third series. I do know, that they both live. What of Miss Adler? Does she too, live in the movie? Or is she dead? Has this never crossed your mind? No? Well then, your mind must be reeling at the thought of Adler being alive in the third movie that comes out some time this year. Oh! The suspense of not knowing! Isn't it just a rush? Indeed. We shall know the truth soon enough. Miss Irene Adler lives in show.....but does she live in the movie?

Bored? Shoot away!

You know that one episode of Sherlock that Sherlock himself is just bored out of his mind? He spray painted a smiley face on the wall and used as a target. Just shoots the wall. John barges in demanding why Holmes is firing a gun. In the movie, Holmes, yet again, was firing a gun at the wall. In this state of boredom, he was trying to create a silencer. The irony of this was rather funny. "I'm bored. Just gonna paint a smiley face on my wall and shoot at it repeatedly." Yes, lets do that. Totally won't have the cops called. Pfft. Yeah. Right. That's like me screaming rape when I'm not being raped. Logic. What is that? Honestly, when someone like Holmes is bored. HE'S BORED. He needs a case. Just like I need a social life.

In a way I am like Holmes from these shows, then again I'm like Moriarty. I guess you could say I'm a little of Holmes, Moriarty, Mrs. Hudson, Mycroft, Watson and last but not least, Miss Addler. My unhealthy obsession with Sherlock Holmes. Modern day with Cumberbatch and of course, Downey's versions as well. Both perfectly insane and I adore it all! You shall never know this madness until you've watched the show AND seen the movies. Even if you watch them, not all of you will understand what has occurred in either viewing. 

Business

The business world has become despicable. The way the "system" works does not bode well for those that seek jobs. For some that may not have had work or college experience, it is a struggle to get a job. Nobody wants to hire a new guy/girl. Clean slate. Need experience to receive a job. Jobs for experience but there is that little tid bit of needing experience. The method of this should be discouraged immediately. Some of us need those jobs and others just want to slack off. To the ones that nag at employers and keep showing up for a job, give those people a shot. If they only fill out an application and don't follow up, you know they're not interested. Someone may be qualified for a position but it's always good to have a new person. Everyone makes mistakes. Even the most experienced people can mess up. Especially in a job. There's no room for mistakes? Oh, shut up. There is plenty of room for mistakes. If you're new, you're new. No need to be an arse to the new employee. If you have a coworker that isn't polite because you screwed up, no matter what it is, report it. Especially if it is a cook in the back of the kitchen and doesn't like new servers.

I am a server in a family owned restaurant and I deal with a cook that doesn't like new servers and has a nasty attitude about it. He's all bark and no bite, but he wants to talk smack about the servers, new or not. We had a really busy day and all the servers, including the delivery girl, were very busy taking orders, busing tables and taking food out. Not our fault we got busy. We are going as fast as we can. We're low in sauce cups. Can't take out the food without the right dipping sauce and dressings. We screw up an order, we get nagged at. We're running around with our heads cut off and overwhelmed. Table after table, after table, after table, after table. They just kept coming. No matter the work load at my job, working with a coworker that is rude about how another coworker does their job. If they have a problem with how it's done, then they should do their job along with the other coworker's job. They'll shut their trap after realizing it is not easy.

We all want a certain job but when it comes down to it, apply to every place you can get to without a problem and work a schedule out with them if you have school. No matter if it is seasonal, part-time of full-time, it is a job that pays and you do what you will with the money you earn. Employers need to give us the chance to work a job that may require things we don't know. What's the point of posting somewhere that you are hiring, if you aren't going to consider an inexperienced person for the position? So what if they are covered in tattoos? They could be the best sales representative or spokesman you ever had. You'll never know because you overlooked them. Don't ignore an applicant based on experience. If you don't give them a chance, another company will, and they will probably surpass your company. You will never know because you passed them up. You are not mind readers and you don't know what a person is capable of without giving them a chance. Nobody is Sherlock Holmes. People may think they know everything or know a person by what they look like or what their work history is like. They don't.

To all that are applying for a job, if you are truly looking for a job, fill out the application and find that number to contact them and nag at them. Go in person and speak to that manager. Talk to them and tell them straight out how many hours you can work. If you're transportation is reliable. Whether you can be contacted short notice. If your schedule it flexible and when you can start. What you're willing to do and how far you will go. Be a little pushy. Show that you really want the job and that you are capable of doing it. After speaking with them, call them in a couple days or go in again to speak with them.

Alone

Alone

There are different views on being alone. Some find it lonely to be single. Others are lonely in relationships. Lonely in friends with benefits. No matter where it is, at some point, it is lonely. Even with friends. You feel a void. Emptiness. Nothing. That moment you feel something for someone, there are different ways it can go wrong. Being with another but falling for another. You can't have both. Otherwise, it will erupt into a personal hell. Best to be alone. Especially if your closest friend is involved and your significant other's friend is the one you're falling for. You wanna know the worst part of it all? We are so much alike that I can't help but like him more. I'm more twisted than you could possibly imagine. My mind and feelings have their own way of working. I have no control over it. Nobody does. Can't help who you fall for. It's what happens in life. Not to everyone but the one's it does happen to, it's a nightmare. It hurts others more than it hurts yourself. You lose people that way. To yearn for one that is so much like yourself but can never have, it's better to walk away than ever risk anything. Don't take my word for it. Some things are worth the risk. Not this. I can not and will not risk it for the sake of what I have left. The day I am able to get away from it all, is the day I might laugh and smile without regret. We are lonely creatures searching for the one that will fill that void. Why do we search for this? What is there to gain from it? Love? We don't always find it. The path I'm at isn't easy to handle. I feel for another, falling for another and with someone that is neither. I've ceased communication with the one I am falling for. I'm not wanted by the one I feel for because my long hair no longer exists. The one I'm with is unaware of this. My closest friend is aware. The one I feel for is aware but doesn't know what I feel for him because he feels for another. My best friend knows I feel for the man she's falling for. She's aware I've stopped talking to him to prevent anything from happening. The one I'm with does not know anything. How could he? He's fallen for me. There is nothing to like or even feel for. My mind is twisted. Warped. My heart. Broken and knows nothing of feeling due to the constant bleeding it has endured. Where is there left for me to go? I can run to Papa Bear and cry on him. Wouldn't solve anything. I'd get the cute little sweet comments and trolls. "That's my future baby mama." "Dat ass, though." "Hey, pretty lady." "This girl, dumped me on Valentine's day." "Girl, where them LSU shorts?" "Hey, girl, let me show you a good time."  And many other comments he has to say. Always got something to say and looking out for me. So many inside jokes between me and Papa Bear, but I will never cross that line because I don't want to lose him as a friend or things to get awkward like that. My life is full of twist and turns. Can't be helped. Nobody knows what it's like but will I ever be okay? I don't know but I do know, books are good to past time. Heal. Point out the good in life. Not always but books are the gateway to knowing what love could be like. It's different when you read it compared to when you feel it. Don't go by the book. Go by what you feel.

Valentine's Day

Love exists in every darkness and every stray light.

To everyone that has a special someone in their life, whether it's a husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, it doesn't matter. We all have a special someone. You can be shy and that special someone will never know how you feel. It's strange. The ones we fall for. How our hearts choose them. We have an ideal person in mind of who we want to be with but our heart finds us the right one. Our other have. The Belle to the Beast. Aladdin to Jasmine. Ariel to Eric. All that jazz. Romantic movies portray the love we imagine ourselves to have. I can say, it exists. I witnessed a couple kissing with such love I've never seen in life. Just movies. Jealous as I am of it, I know that I'll have my other half before I know it.

It may start out as talking to your crush. Slowly forming into something more. Wondering what they're doing. How their day was. If they're thinking of you like you're thinking of them. Love has no bounds and distance is no match for the power of it. Your heart will guide you. Don't be shy to tell that person how you feel. Speak up and let them hear your voice. Let them know how you feel. They could secretly feel the same. It doesn't have to be Valentine's day. Could be any day that you tell them what you feel. If you can't say it, write a love letter to them. Maybe that might work. Take the risk. You will never know how that person feels until you speak up and take that chance.

I've been afraid of Love for so long, I can't even hear my heart tell me what it wants anymore. I don't know what's in my head or what's in my heart. It feels broken. I have suitors that I fancy, but I don't know which route to take. Do I go to the one I've known for awhile? One I fell for after my heart broke? The one that knows my body and I fell in love with? The one that makes me feel like an equal and trolls me but still knows how to be serious? I don't know where to go. I can't even get my head straight. I am torn and as my sister would say, "You're a trash hoe." Meaning, I'm in "love" with more than one guy. You couldn't possibly understand how I feel or what goes through my head every day. My first love was scary. I didn't know how to love. Nor did I know what it felt like to be treated like a woman. I was scared. Shy. I wanted nothing more than to be confident. I couldn't do it. Now? I'm more comfortable in my skin. He helped me to love myself and be a woman. One other person helped. He's been there and talked me out of my stress a few times and jokes about me being his baby mama. He makes me smile and reminds me that no matter how old I get, I can still have fun. He jokes about my ass and about going on a date. I can tell you one thing, he is good to me and makes me feel fabulous. I would not be sitting here today if he did not exist in my life. I'm grateful for him. No matter how long it's been since I've seen him, he will always be a close friend and someone I can call when I need someone. I have the utmost respect for him and admire his heart. He taught me to be me and say fuck everyone and their opinions because they don't matter. Just you and this Fortress of Solitude. Take my advice and don't let doubt stop you. Don't let that negative shit get in the way of what your heart says. Your heart is what matters. Ignore all those that say you don't know what love is. They're not you and they never will be.

Take a deep breath and take that first step. It will be alright and worth it.

Where there is love, life begins.

Opportunities

Opportunities

 

 

 

Everyone has a chance to do something great. But how do we get there? Hard work. But how to we do that? Persistence. You want that job but you need experience. How do we get experience if we can't get a job? If nobody will give us a chance, how can we prove we're worth the time? I'll tell you. Put in an application. Go straight to that location, ask for a manager. Don't settle for nothing less. Tell that manager you are worth the time and effort. How bad do you want a job? Tell them your schedule is open. Sometimes you have to tell them, "I'm not taking no for an answer. I may not  be as experienced but I am willing to learn and show you what I can do." It just may work. I'm not an employer. I have six months of work history that is worth putting on an application and resume. Even a place is not hiring, do it anyway. Demand a manager and nobody else. Don't take that crap they sell you. "I'll give you a call in a few days to let you know." Give them a day then call after that. Blow up their phone. Or walk in there and ask to speak with that manager. If you have to sit and wait, do it. You tell them you're not leaving until you speak to them. Tell them that you are worth their time. You're worth their time. If I wasn't unemployed and didn't know the stress of it, I wouldn't be writing this, now would I? No. Because I wouldn't know what it's like. This shit is coming from my heart and experience. I am trying to get back on my feet and nobody is going to hire because I don't have enough experience on this or that. Give me your time and I'll show you that I'm good enough to work for you. We all are worth their time. If they can't see it, they don't know what they are missing. We know what they are missing out on. Do they? No. They won't give us a shot. Don't let nobody tell you that you are not worth the time, because we are. We all are. Whoever says you're not, is a heartless bitch. They don't know you. You know you. You'll find that job. Promise. Just keep on being stubborn and bugging those businesses. One will give you that shot you've been hoping for. I'm trying to get my shot. We'll get there. Keep you're head up and that smile on.